Angels in Thy Soul
by Niki Chidon
Summary: The sequel to The Relative Brightness Inside, the developing relationship of Gabriel & Friedrich. Work in process, slash.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Jane Jensen and Sierra own the characters.

Notes: Sequel to The Relative Brightness Inside

Friedrich's POV

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ANGELS IN THY SOUL: Prologue

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'A tame wolf'. The words echo in my head sometimes. On occasion mocking, despising me in Garr's voice, at times the mocking is amused and tender, like Byron - and sometimes sad, wistful... sounding like Ludwig. They all loved me for my wildness. Only Ludwig condemned me for it, too.

There have been others. Not many, but enough. Other voices whisper in my head in the dark.

A tame wolf. It should go against everything I believe in, yet I know, should Gabriel so wish, I would bare him my stomach.

Not that he actually **is** rubbing my stomach... The image makes me smile.

I know he cares. For now, that must be enough. He knows how I feel and has not run away. This I must be content with. For now.

The mere thought is too much for him at the moment. Having never been attracted to a man before he is confused whether it has something to do with the wolf or is it really a potential he always had in himself.

The mechanisms of it must frighten him, as well. He is too much of an alpha male to be comfortable with the idea of being taken. I hope, of course, that he will come around. The joy of possession - from both sides - is not to be passed.

I, too, am an alpha male but have been one for so long, and feel too secure in my image of self to fear losing it over a simple act of love. After all, I have had centuries to grow into it compared to his decades.

I have patience. I can wait. I can be his friend, his teacher, his pack brother... I can love him and not make demands. For now.

- - -


	2. Ch1: Conversations with a Wolf

Ch 1: Conversations with a Wolf

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Afterwards, I could not tell how the conversation had started but I was sitting by the fireplace alone with Grace and somehow she had made me talk about my past loves. She was still suspicious of my motives, of course, and was now using this opportunity of Gabriel's absence to interrogate me.

"Have **all** your lovers been men?"

"'Lovers' in the sense you mean... yes."

"What's up with that, anyway? Does turning into a werewolf also turn you gay?"

"No, Miss Nakimura, I do not believe so. And trust me... the 'men' part troubled me almost more than the wolf part, in the beginning. But... during my travels, I encountered more diverse opinions than the Western bigotry..."

"But what about your precious nature?"

She was mocking me, yes, but also willing to discuss the matter with me, engage in a debate of equal minds - whether she realised it or not, her attitude towards me had changed over the weeks we had been forced to co-habitate in the Schloss.

"The scientists have come to realise during recent studies that even some animals have sex for pure pleasure. This view was strongly denied earlier and still faces considerable opposition," she raised her eyebrow, waiting for me to get to the point, and I smiled slightly before going on, "And these species also show homosexual behaviour. But who can tell? When an older tomcat mounts a younger male, is it a show of power, the lack of options, or an actual show of pleasure for its own sake? After all, animal sexuality has always been a borderline issue. Often, what in animal kingdom is called 'mating' would be called 'rape' in a human society. But I am not an animal in that sense, Miss Nakimura. I am, also, a man."

I paused, secure in the knowledge I had her attention now.

"And as far as humans go... The Greek believed - which is of course a misleading thing to say as 'the Greek' held a variety of philosophies and ideas over time and place - but some of them saw women merely as a mean to have children. Pleasure was attained with men. And true, equal love could only be experienced between men. Then again, the Romans did not recognise a relationship between equal men - always the power issue, the younger man in a subservient position.

"Homosexuality - although, of course, the name is a modern invention - has been around, sometimes in sight, sometimes out of it, all through our Western history, and before. Sometimes men - and women - died for it, sometimes they just died inside, hiding the love that dared not speak its name," I allowed myself a smirk.

"Oscar Wilde?"

"No, the lines were not actually written by him. It was quoted at his trial, though."

"Ah. Wasn't he tried for being gay?"

"That is like saying the American civil war was fought for the slaves, Miss Nakimura. There were wider issues at stake. Wilde was notorious, as Byron had been, a century before him. Their tastes were public knowledge but as they were famous - and married - people refused to acknowledge what they knew. Oscar was not condemned for his sexual orientation, if you will, he had been acquitted once already! He went down because he wouldn't - couldn't - shut up. His thoughts were dangerous. Art for art's sake, and all that. It was a harsh sentence - two years hard labour. But he did write his masterpiece in the jail," I remarked, as an afterthought.

"Portrait of Dorian Gray?"

"No, a poem. Ballad of Reading Gaol.

'And all men kill the thing they love,

By all let this be heard,

Some do it with a bitter look,

Some with a flattering word,

The coward does it with a kiss,

The brave man with a sword!'

His wife visited him in the jail. His young lover - not once."

"You were there."

"For some of it. After Byron, I stayed away from London for decades but enough time had passed... "

"Byron, was he...?"

"He was notorious for his temper," I smirked again, letting her take that as she wanted to.

"You loved him," she merely remarked, not dwelling on the question whether I had bitten him, too. Instead she asked, "Were you Wilde's lover, as well?"

"Dear God, no. He was... not my type. And I... I was not over Ludwig's death when I returned to London."

She frowned, obviously counting dates. "But wasn't that... surely, it was decades later?"

"My dear Miss Nakimura, how often have you loved? Do you think it is easy getting over someone so... intense as Ludwig?" It hurt me like a silver bullet to talk about this, him, with her, but I needed her to understand that I was not the monster in the story, the Ogre who violated him and caused his death - well, I was the Beast, but even the Beast can love. I needed her to understand so that she would understand what Gabriel meant to me, so that she would stop plotting my demise to 'free' him!

"So where does that leave us?" she was as confused as I with the turn in the discussion. What had we been talking about, anyway? Ah.

"In the beginning. 'All men', as you said. Women in my life have been for fleeting moments of socially accepted pleasure, men have been for companionship. But do you realise how new a thing the modern independent, intelligent woman is? No," I went on as she was about to interrupt, "I'm not trying to claim inferiority of the sex, the women just were not given the opportunities to think for themselves, to study, to read... to consider men as something else than purses. Had the women in my youth been like you, Miss Nakimura, maybe I would have sought... companionship in other places, as well."

She looked at me, then said, in a resigned voice, "Call me Grace."

"Friedrich," I smiled at her.

"It doesn't really matter, does it?"

"Excuse me?"

"All that. Names, labels, taboos... You just love him. Because he is who he is. Not because of what he is. Not for what he could give you besides... companionship."

"Yes. Is love a part of nature, Grace? It is a part of my nature."

"Do you think he will ever let himself love you?"

There was sadness in her voice, but acceptance as well. She could not hate me for loving him, because she did as well. She was over hating me for Ludwig because she had had to accept I had loved him, too. And for the moment she had apparently forgotten the killer in me. We were close in a way we never had been, and never thought we could.

"I can only hope. I... There will never be anyone else again, Grace. Not ever."

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(Author's notes: Apologies for the preachiness on history but needed a way for these two to 'bond')


	3. Ch2: Song to the Moon

(bit of a mess, this. Will re-write it at some point, I hope.)

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Song to the Moon

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They went on with the Opera, of course; a new Wagner production couldn't be halted just because one of the producers changed his motivation mid-way.

Needless to mention, they did not hang the chandeliers. I think Grace was a little sorry not to get to try out the scheme even though I am quite confident she does not wish to kill me anymore.

At least, I hope so.

She told me about Ludwig and Wagner's plans. A Brand New Wagner Opera! ...for me. It was written, composed... because of me. To kill me. The thought is... incomprehensible. Food for thought, because I had never known one could re-create artificially the effects of the moon and the sound of howling.

Gabriel made them show me the plans, and I pointed out, apologetically, that they had not taken into account the differences between the old building and the new. (I have a feeling Grace wanted to kill me just for that. She hates the idea of not being on top of the situation.) To think their plan might not even have worked... well, we won't know, now.

Yet I believe, had it come to that, my Schattenjäger would have found a way to kill me. I might have helped him. A life without him is no longer an option.

I have purposefully avoided all knowledge of the story to enjoy it to the fullest in the premiere. I think Grace read the story to Gabriel who cannot of course follow the singing in German. He has been smirking a lot ever since. I believe I feature as the 'bad guy'. As I do in his new Blake Backlash novel, The Brutal Beast. We're still debating about whether he should use Ludwig in it. No one will take the accusation of his tainted blood seriously, but without the historical context much of the story is lost.

We debate the wisdom of his attendance, too. Even without the chandeliers, they are not sure how the music will affect him. He is, after all, still adjusting to the Blood.

In the end we decide that the private box with me, Grace and Gerde in it should be safe enough. Also, safe from me, as I see him in his new suit. Oh. My. He cleans up well. Were it not for the ladies present I might find it hard to keep my promise and not touch him, not kiss him.

I burn, and the music with its heartbreaking love themes only magnifies my emotions. Hildegunde's aria in the end haunts me for a long time, even after the show is over. It was magnificent but I couldn't forget Ludwig for a second, couldn't help but be apprehensive as to what was coming. And then, that song... She sang to the Moon, her beautiful voice filled with longing and sadness. "Defender of innocents, make me your own."

And all I could think of then was the man next to me. My Gabriel, my Defender of the Innocent, my Shadow Hunter. Make me yours, make me a defender too, instead of the villain of the piece.

I still fear that writing me as the Ogre will remind him of all the reasons I should be killed. After all, Grace still believes it would release not only Gabriel but also Ludwig. I cannot share her view – Gabriel, yes, but Ludwig? It makes no sense. He killed himself. By his religion, his belief, he is still damned no matter what 'the Curse' did to his 'Immortal Soul'.

As we discussed this with the three ladies – Grace, Gerde, and Mrs Smith – Gabriel also pointed out that to all intents and purposes the Black Wolf was dead, and "shouldn't that count for something in that spiritual mumbo-jumbo".

I am not sure how convinced they were. Am I? Is the Black Wolf dead? Who was he, anyway? I don't eat human meat. But I still hunt.

I don't know if that is enough. But as long as it is enough for Gabriel...

I want to growl. This situation may be enough for him but how much longer can I keep my hunger for him in check? How much longer can I be the platonic friend, the teacher? I long for him, mind and body, and all my instincts yell at me to make him mine.

But he is not ready, and I would just lose him for a moment of carnal pleasure. I cannot allow that to happen.

So I wait. Still.


	4. Ch3: The Chase

Disclaimer: Jane Jensen & Sierra own them all. No monetary gain, no disrespect, you know the drill. 

The Chase

Baron Friedrich von Glower was running. With every step he shed more of his humanity until only the Wolf remained. 

The Wolf knew only the Now, not the worries and frustrations that plagued the Man. Its world consisted of the wind, the branches hitting its sides, the ground under its paws; the sounds and scents of the night.

At some point it became conscious of another creature matching its speed and direction, and the wind brought the scent of... its mate.

The beautiful brown wolf joined in on its run and the Wolf knew joy his natural kin couldn't. He ran, and the other wolf ran with him.

It had to be 'him' now, to remember not to attack the bipeds, to not take what it wanted, to remember its mate was not really its mate in flesh.

Still, this they could share, the wind, the branches hitting their sides, the ground under their paws; the sound and scents of the night. The mad chase of something, maybe each other.

The brown wolf matched the black one step for step, and he was reluctant to stop, to turn back, to allow their human sides control because this closeness, this intensity, was not a part of them.

They hunted together, for small prey, and they feasted together, and they slept together, under the branches.

But in the end the Wolf had to return, knowing the Man would need to be elsewhere when the Moon was gone and the Sun lighted the Man's world once more.

The next day Friedrich von Glower slept, and knew he wouldn't need to wait much longer.


End file.
